[Shock]
Sorry to keep you all waiting. I've been busy busy busy. I mean, haha, I didn't update this or my facebook......
Except my Twitter was completely and utterly overwhelmed.
But, I'll back up.
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Friday morning, I noticed a tweet from Natalia asking if I wanted to go for a walk with her the night previous. I was half asleep, and watching heroes with Kristen and Christopher at the time, and totally missed it. Feeling bad at missing an opportunity, I sent off another request to hang out cause I get off at 1 now. Inviting her to temple night, and a movie night, she said she'd let me know if she was free.
From this statement, I thought it was just going to be her. Cory was civilly courteous on twitter when we'd communicate over the past week, and I was under the impression he was only talking to me because Natalia had requested he do so. At about 7 pm, I received a text from her, asking if we were still watching '9' and that she *AND* CORY could come join us.
From her blog:
I was pacing. Chris saw it and it was making him nervous. Back and forth in the kitchen. He sat me down and asked me to chill. I got the call from Natalia telling me she was outside my duplex, and to come out so they knew where to go. I went outside, and she waved, and we both went for the hug. We embraced, and I almost started to cry. "Thanks so much for coming, you have no idea how excited I am to meet you."
I then turned to look into the face I had once loved, that has caused me so much pain for the last couple months. The face that I saw clearly for the first time in so long.
And I smiled.
He didn't have an option, he was getting a hug.
He almost didn't put his arms around me. And then he did. It was hesitant, and unsure, and even though it never turned into a real hug, I felt a small victory inside. Stepping back, I smiled at both of them, and welcomed them to Silver Shadows.
We entered the apartment, and I introduced Chris, who was coming down the stairs. We went down to the living room. We sat. Danny and Kayla were off somewhere else. And I started asking questions. Being a hostess. Things were stiff. Natalia and I slowly relaxed. In fact, we were laughing. Cory was extremely stiff.
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Look at this post.
My excitement came from when he was making fun of me in someway shape or form. That's always how our friendship was. I was ridiculous, he was logical. It made for lots of laughter at my expense, in a loving way, and I was ok with it. That was the Cory/Laura Friendship. I realized something was wrong months ago when he stopped doing it. That's when I started freaking out.
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And for the first time, in almost a year, I had my friend back.
The rest of the group showed up. Danny and Kayla showed up, and I was like: "Guys, this is Natalia, and Cory" (For danny's sake) And Kristen jumped up and was like "Oh my gosh, you're Cory? I've heard so much about you"
The rest of the night was full of laughter and fun.
Here's the really really funny part.
'9' was the last movie I watched with Cory before we broke up. Same night actually. I took him to see it, and we broke up later that night. I avoided the movie after that, for the bad memories associated with it. I actually suggested it because I was ready to open that box and disassociate it from him. And then after the movie was decided, he decided to come over. It was the first movie we saw as new friends.
After the movie, we joked and laughed, and everyone left.
I felt like I was in a dream. Waiting to wake up. It was surreal. I had dreams for months, of what I might say should I come face to face with him. How I might apologize, how I could make it better. And here I was living in my dream in real life. I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep. We're 2 extremely different people now. 6 months changed us both alot. The loss of a close friend on either side, changed us.
Friday night, I went home to find tweets waiting for me. From BOTH of them. I responded accordingly, and noticed that they were getting ready to play Axis and Allies. Remembering how many times he wanted to play that game last year, and we never could find enough people, I offered to play.
To which he jumped on... it seems. I was invited over, and it was just me, him and her... for hours. Playing a board game on the floor in his room.
He had rearranged, and removed most of the things I gave him. Which was understandable. He still had a few gifts I had given. Nothing big. We played for a couple hours, Natalia and I on a team, and Cory kicking our collective butts.
She had to leave for work, and Cory had to clean the apartment for cleaning checks. I started cleaning up the game when Cory, not Natalia, Cory, invited me to stay to finish the game while she was gone. I was a little frightened at the prospect of being left alone with Cory without Natalia there being the mediator. So far we'd been doing ok, but I didn't know what would have happened.
We went through his cleaning list quickly, and he efficiently beat me in what was left of the game 30 minutes later. He looked fondly at his new expansion for the game, and I meekly suggested we play one more game now that I understood how to play. I even went so far as to mention that I picked up the game quickly, which he responded "I noticed" and I suggested that we try the more advanced version.
He explained that he was waiting for the next expansion to come out and wanted to learn how to play this other one, and seem to jump at the idea of playing it. He was kind. We laughed. He made fun of me. We were friends.
As I left the apartment that night, I went back to mine in tears. I couldn't believe this was happening. After months of tears, and pain, and helplessness at losing someone who meant so much to me, and knowing it was my fault.... it was fixed.
My bishop was the one who kept my hope:
"People who have THAT much influence on your life, don't just walk into your life, then walk back out. Things aren't done yet"
I have a testimony of peace and of love. I have one that shows that miracles happen. I prayed. I prayed hard that things could be fixed. They aren't yet. I have hope that they can be. It'll take time. and Patience. And for now, I'm perfectly happy with the level of communication that I have with him now. And if that's all I ever get, then I'm fine with that too.
P.S. Check out my 101 in 1001 and see how I'm doing!
Except my Twitter was completely and utterly overwhelmed.
But, I'll back up.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday morning, I noticed a tweet from Natalia asking if I wanted to go for a walk with her the night previous. I was half asleep, and watching heroes with Kristen and Christopher at the time, and totally missed it. Feeling bad at missing an opportunity, I sent off another request to hang out cause I get off at 1 now. Inviting her to temple night, and a movie night, she said she'd let me know if she was free.
From this statement, I thought it was just going to be her. Cory was civilly courteous on twitter when we'd communicate over the past week, and I was under the impression he was only talking to me because Natalia had requested he do so. At about 7 pm, I received a text from her, asking if we were still watching '9' and that she *AND* CORY could come join us.
From her blog:
Tonight, Kenji and I went over for a movie night "we don't have to go if you end up not wanting to." I told Kenji over and over again. It's not that he didn't want to go, it was that he was anxious.. unsure of what the outcome would be.
I think we were all the same.. unsure of what might be.
I was pacing. Chris saw it and it was making him nervous. Back and forth in the kitchen. He sat me down and asked me to chill. I got the call from Natalia telling me she was outside my duplex, and to come out so they knew where to go. I went outside, and she waved, and we both went for the hug. We embraced, and I almost started to cry. "Thanks so much for coming, you have no idea how excited I am to meet you."
I then turned to look into the face I had once loved, that has caused me so much pain for the last couple months. The face that I saw clearly for the first time in so long.
And I smiled.
He didn't have an option, he was getting a hug.
He almost didn't put his arms around me. And then he did. It was hesitant, and unsure, and even though it never turned into a real hug, I felt a small victory inside. Stepping back, I smiled at both of them, and welcomed them to Silver Shadows.
We entered the apartment, and I introduced Chris, who was coming down the stairs. We went down to the living room. We sat. Danny and Kayla were off somewhere else. And I started asking questions. Being a hostess. Things were stiff. Natalia and I slowly relaxed. In fact, we were laughing. Cory was extremely stiff.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look at this post.
My excitement came from when he was making fun of me in someway shape or form. That's always how our friendship was. I was ridiculous, he was logical. It made for lots of laughter at my expense, in a loving way, and I was ok with it. That was the Cory/Laura Friendship. I realized something was wrong months ago when he stopped doing it. That's when I started freaking out.
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The Xbox was mentioned. It was mentioned that I didn't have LIVE at the moment.
There it was. He almost dropped his phone. There was a look of shock on his face. And he said directly to me, "You fail."
And for the first time, in almost a year, I had my friend back.
The rest of the group showed up. Danny and Kayla showed up, and I was like: "Guys, this is Natalia, and Cory" (For danny's sake) And Kristen jumped up and was like "Oh my gosh, you're Cory? I've heard so much about you"
The rest of the night was full of laughter and fun.
Here's the really really funny part.
'9' was the last movie I watched with Cory before we broke up. Same night actually. I took him to see it, and we broke up later that night. I avoided the movie after that, for the bad memories associated with it. I actually suggested it because I was ready to open that box and disassociate it from him. And then after the movie was decided, he decided to come over. It was the first movie we saw as new friends.
After the movie, we joked and laughed, and everyone left.
I felt like I was in a dream. Waiting to wake up. It was surreal. I had dreams for months, of what I might say should I come face to face with him. How I might apologize, how I could make it better. And here I was living in my dream in real life. I couldn't tell if I was awake or asleep. We're 2 extremely different people now. 6 months changed us both alot. The loss of a close friend on either side, changed us.
Friday night, I went home to find tweets waiting for me. From BOTH of them. I responded accordingly, and noticed that they were getting ready to play Axis and Allies. Remembering how many times he wanted to play that game last year, and we never could find enough people, I offered to play.
To which he jumped on... it seems. I was invited over, and it was just me, him and her... for hours. Playing a board game on the floor in his room.
She walked to my apartment and picked me up, and we walked to his house. We discussed blogs, and people. She had wanted to do the friendship thing back in June. She was afraid that she'd done so much damage that I would reject her. Which was my fear, I was afraid that damage from things I have said, plus the things that occurred with Cory would prevent her from accepting my request. So, it went around in circles for months.
He had rearranged, and removed most of the things I gave him. Which was understandable. He still had a few gifts I had given. Nothing big. We played for a couple hours, Natalia and I on a team, and Cory kicking our collective butts.
She had to leave for work, and Cory had to clean the apartment for cleaning checks. I started cleaning up the game when Cory, not Natalia, Cory, invited me to stay to finish the game while she was gone. I was a little frightened at the prospect of being left alone with Cory without Natalia there being the mediator. So far we'd been doing ok, but I didn't know what would have happened.
We went through his cleaning list quickly, and he efficiently beat me in what was left of the game 30 minutes later. He looked fondly at his new expansion for the game, and I meekly suggested we play one more game now that I understood how to play. I even went so far as to mention that I picked up the game quickly, which he responded "I noticed" and I suggested that we try the more advanced version.
He explained that he was waiting for the next expansion to come out and wanted to learn how to play this other one, and seem to jump at the idea of playing it. He was kind. We laughed. He made fun of me. We were friends.
As I left the apartment that night, I went back to mine in tears. I couldn't believe this was happening. After months of tears, and pain, and helplessness at losing someone who meant so much to me, and knowing it was my fault.... it was fixed.
My bishop was the one who kept my hope:
"People who have THAT much influence on your life, don't just walk into your life, then walk back out. Things aren't done yet"
I have a testimony of peace and of love. I have one that shows that miracles happen. I prayed. I prayed hard that things could be fixed. They aren't yet. I have hope that they can be. It'll take time. and Patience. And for now, I'm perfectly happy with the level of communication that I have with him now. And if that's all I ever get, then I'm fine with that too.
P.S. Check out my 101 in 1001 and see how I'm doing!
2 thoughts :
Not that it's any of my business, but since you posted it on the innertubes and all... You're dabbling in some dangerous business here. Hanging out with current and former boyfriends at the same time - especially when it's pretty clear that you're still sorting through the emotions from the breakup is asking for a mess. Be careful. Be compassionate. Good Luck.
Reuben, I completely understand now that I've looked at it the same as many others have. The concern is great in numbers, but I feel that Laura and I have made strides. We can now call each other good friends. She and Kenji (Cory) don't hang out, and neither do she and I. But one thing that we've been able to do is build the bridge of friendship. Should she or I ever be in need of anything, we know we can count on each other. She described a weekend that was quite the building block for us all. And Reuben, I thank you, along with all the others, for being concerned about Laura. It shows a lot about a person by what type of people they're associated with. You're proof that she does well. And Laura, you do do well.
Remember, eternity. We're going to be able to hug, and be able to take everything and put it aside. But for this time, we know what is best for the situation. I find it a privilege to have met you, let alone to be able to call you my friend. Thanks, Laura! =)
-Tally May
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