[Revised and Updated Questions of a Hypothetical Nature]

Friday, July 30, 2010

[Revised and Updated Questions of a Hypothetical Nature]


Technically, its not all that different.  But the original is here

What is it that makes you just come to me without much thinking at all?
You make me happy. I know that you'll fix things when I need them fixed, and you do your best if you can't.  You see in my brain, you understand me, (at least I think you do.)  You try and understand. You listen.  You are who you are.  I spend more time smiling around you than anyone else, whether its because of your facial expressions, the way you react to things, or when I catch you looking at me.   Your smile in and of itself fills me with so much joy, its addictive.  I can't understand why no one else would want to be away from that smile from long periods of time.   *I* don't want to be away from it.  I hate having my brain to myself, and would rather have you in it at all times.  My self esteem is raised, and my views of life are better being around you.  Its like being on a drug. 
I feel safe around you. I know I'm taken care of. Whatever my problems are, they disappear when I see you.  


What is it that makes you love me other than the times when you think I'm cute or just want to snuggle or have a big hug?
Haha.  This is going to sound odd, but your brokenism.  We're both broken.  We both understand each other, and why we do the things we do. We've been through several experiences that are similar.  We know how to handle each other, and well, you're constantly trying to make me better.  Sadly, I turn red and am embarrassed every time you suggest to me things that can be changed and ways I can be better, and even as I become indignant, you're extremely patient with me.  Patience.  You sit and listen to the things of my heart, the things that hurt me, whether you want to or not.  You deal with my outbursts, and my spurts of paranoia.  You calmly bring me back to rationalization and back to reality.  You help me set an example.  And because of you, I want to be better than I am. 


When you say that you miss me, what is it about me that you miss?
After having to miss you for 3 months, I've come to a decision.  Your arms.  I know that sounds weird, but many of my favorite moments with you come when you put your arms around me. How happy I feel when I'm wrapped up by you.   
 I miss touching your face, and seeing your joy at it.  I  miss the way you smell. And the way I feel when you touch my hand.  I  miss seeing your eyes light up at things that make you happy, and the spastic responses to things stupid.  I  miss our intelligent conversations and analyzations of the weird things of the world.  I miss your joy. I miss making you happy.  Every time I make you laugh, I feel like I accomplished something incredible. 

What do I have to offer you? 

Music.  That was a number one thing on my list. Someone who can listen and enjoy music with me.  And you do.  You carry a side of music I've never entered into yet.  You're a teacher.  After watching you tow me around Disneyland showing me everything and waiting me to light up with new knowledge.... the words "I can show you the world" apply to you which was another thing on my list.  You offer me intelligent conversations. You would offer me the connection I've always dreamed about. Someone who knows what i'm thinking, why I'm thinking it, and can comment on my thoughts without me saying something. Someone whom, I already have hundreds of inside jokes with, and can very easily create hundreds more.   You give me the ability to feel needed and that the things I do and have done are important.  You know stuff.  Lots of stuff.  You're intelligent.  You offer me a life time of learning.  You know so much of things I don't.  About ALL aspects of life.  I have a life time to learn from you, and learn with you, as I know you love learning just as much.  We have enough in common, like love of travel and other such things, that I know life will be fun. All I've ever wanted was to have someone take my hand and say "let me show you" and I'd follow without hesitation.  This is what you would offer me. 

What do you want of me? 
Well, first of all, I want you to be yourself.  I fell in love with you and your personality.  Don't change that.  I want you to take me to the temple, and strive to hold on to the ideals that make that possible.  I want you to support for me and the things I want to do. I want you to let me help you when you need help, and come to me when you want to talk. I want you not to give up.  I want you to realize your worth to me, and your potential.  I want you to understand just how amazing you are, and how much you mean to the people around you.  You've spent the last 6 months helping me rediscover my worth, I want you to let me help you now.   I want you to want me. I want you to love me for who I am.  I want you to be happy, and tell me when you're not. I want you to tell me when you need me.  I want you to grow, and learn and progress. I want you to know that you can cry around me, and you can laugh.  I want to be there for you no matter what.   

What do you need from me?
I need you to tell me you love me. Every chance you get, and when I do things that make you laugh, when I do things that remind you of why you like/love me.  I want you to tell me what comes across your mind.   I need you to rely on me, and be openly communicative with me. If I'm doing something wrong, I want you to tell me. If I'm doing something right tell me that too. I need you to tell me when you need me.   Your reaction to me means more than gifts or things like that.  If I see you light up because I show up, then that means more than a jewel or anything like that.  I need you to be patient with me, and if I show fear, calm me down.  If I seem paranoid, reassure me. If my self esteem is gone, reassure me.  I need you to make sure I maintain my independence, and that my whole life doesn't merge into yours. I need you to make sure I don't sacrifice who I am for stupid things. I need you to help me maintain my faith and testimony.  I need you to help me trust myself and my instincts. Say cute things.  Tell me you miss me.  Start the affection before I do, so that I'm not the one initiating everything.  I need you to do everything to not make me paranoid of your feelings for me.  If you feel it, tell me or show me. 

Are you in love with the idea of "us" more than the actual "us"? 
I have seen you when you first wake up, I've seen you with your hair messy. I've seen your lack of self confidence, and I've seen you when you're angry, sad, frustrated, happy, overjoyed, random, and instead of the idea of US, I fell in love with you.  You, who you are, the things you want, the things you do.  Your hopes, your dreams, your frustrations, your flaws.  I think at this point in time, i'm definitely in love with 'us'. We'd be epic.  And I know this, because we're epic, and we still really only know each other on a surface level. Think about what it'll be like on a deeper level?! 

Do YOU feel that we as a couple work together well? If so, why?
Personality wise, and the way we handle things, we're extremely different.  Extremely.  I think this could go either way, that it has the potential to go really sour, or really really good.  If we're both willing to work, and not sabotage the relationship... i think we'll be fine.  
Do you actually see a future with us?
Yes, actually. I've been seeing it for a little while now.  You're one of the few people I can picture a future with. 

I know you appreciate and admire me for different reasons which you already expressed, but why do you love me?

You mean besides everything else I just listed? :P  You're unique.  You have a handset of skills and things you've done or wanted to do that no one else does.  You seem to be the type of person to try new skills, and want to progress.  Your flaws, and your quirks are exactly why I love you.  The things that define you from the rest of the mass of guys.  I know lots of guys, and they're all a blur of good guys, but the definition of them don't stand out much like you do.  I love you for the way you treat others, I love you for your genuine need to make people happy.  I love you!  There doesn't need to be a reason, other than YOU.  who YOU are. what YOU do. YOU. the things that make you who you are. 

Hopefully I didn't leave any remnants in there.

  P.S. Check out my 101 in 1001  and see how I'm doing!

5 thoughts :

Unknown said...

I don't think these are hypothetical - the questions or the answers.

Also,
"You're one of the few people I can picture a future with."
what?

Laura said...

There are some people, that I can attempt to few a future with, and I just can't see it. At all. I can't picture clearly how they'll react with kids, or even see them holding my hand while i'm in labor. He is one of the few people who I can picture extremely clearly holding my hand while i'm in labor. Or his face when I wake up in the morning. Some people, just have blank futures.

Laura said...

P.S. You're in new york?

Unknown said...

Not in New York. MPLS. If I was your boyfriend I would leave this comment:

"WTF? Who else are you picturing your future with?"

does your b/f read the blog?

Laura said...

Lol. Yes. He does. And no, I'm not picturing my future with anyone else. But usually, that's a cut, if I can't see them with me in several years.... therefore, he made the cut with that statement. That's all it means.

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