[Proud]

And then the flood gates opened.  and I wept.  I wept because I didn't feel so alone.

I can't describe what it felt like to hear someone tell me unhindered that they were proud of me. Of all my mistakes, and monsterousness.  Of my heartaches and failed relationships.  Of my awareness and trial.  They.Were.Proud.Of.Me.  Proud.

And even as I type this, I hold onto that emotion tightly, to feel it again if I need to.

I'm so thankful for Nathaniel (#boy). For his place in my life.  He came at the beckoning of prayers as an angel, and hasn't let me down once.

I'm thankful for Xander and his blessing this afternoon. And his unwaving friendship.
For Kristen and Christopher who are over all the time, and Kristen listening again and again to the same things that I repeat over and over and just don't ever seem to learn from. And christopher who, even though we've fought with such verbal violence and we've remained friends.
For Natalia, who even in super rough friendship still manages to make me laugh, and we're still alive and the house hasn't exploded yet.
For ben, who feeds me tea and always seems to find me when I have the crappiest days.
For Donny, who has always been there as I've pelted him with crap, and is still there, ready to give me hugs.
For Garrett for making me always feel like I'm important.
For Kendrick and PJ for the faith they have in me at work.
For my Family who will take and hide me when I need it.

Thanks guys. Thanks for helping me become someone that people are proud of.