FML

It doesn't make sense to me why someone would migrate *away* from someone whom they see relationship worthy, for someone else they *can't* see themselves with.

Unless they don't want a relationship.
Or fear of commitment 

I understand that others have their own life and their own choices and it doesn't revolve around me.

But I will be my best self nonetheless.  And I will always be there.  Always.

I'm coming to find that Borderline is more a fear of the emotional pain.  a Deep Fear of what might happen.  When breakups happen, or fights happen, I'm fine. Its what MIGHT happen, and my actions are frantic to prevent it.

Case and point.

When Ashley and Cory were getting together.  I was freaked. Not cause I didn't want them to, (cause I did want them, I encouraged her a year before to go date him) but because I wasn't sure how i would feel when it happened, and waiting was agonizing.

Once they hit official relationship status, then everything was better.  And I relaxed.  Cause there was no looming emotional pain.

In relationships, i'm always afraid of what will happen when I break up.  So I'm always frantic of being caught off guard.  or of causing it.

That, I think, is the PTSD coming out, as Borderline and PTSD is closely related.

FML.