Horizon
There's a Horizon, and I can see it. There * points *
I just got back from Disneyland with a bunch of close friends, and maintained a huge grip on my borderline, even though there were several events that could have triggered explosiveness. This lifts my spirits more than anything. It means my therapy and rational thinking are kicking in. And my friends are all still around.
Natalia is back in Utah. Yes, that Natalia. I suggested mainly to myself one evening that it would be cool to room with someone I knew. If anything, I missed roomming with Kristen, and having someone to always do stuff with, and lots of inside jokes. However my attempts to get the other single squad members to room with me went sour, and I was left looking for other people to room with. And then Natalia moved home. And I thought, What about her?
After some back and forth, and looking at the upper level of where she is currently living we've both decided that its.... going to be an epic idea to live together. It'd be a 2 person apartment with a giant living room and kitchen. Its back in Danny and Chris's ward, over by branbury and Ben and Alex. ^_^
If anything this gives me a shot at something totally new... away from the squad. My perceived rejections should lighten up, and I will be moving away from the group for the most part, but this time I'll have someone(s) new to replace that gaping hole that led me running back to them.
I say someones, because I hung out with Natalia last night after dinner group. And I met her friends James and Eric. And they're hilarious.
And we're going to sidestep this way -> For a minute.
James.
I'm assuming we're both talking to Natalia about each other, cause when I texted her about how I thought he was cute, she started laughing hysterically. And then pointed out later that night that he was flirting with me, and how I was flirting right back.
He collects musical instruments. Like me. Pennywhistles and flutes and he has played guitar for 11 years.
Next on his list.. A dulcimer, which was next on mine after a cello, which he also wants.
Robotics major, but spent some time with music composition. (musically passionate... like me, Computer inclined... like me.
He works out. Not like me.
He has this smile I can't get out of my head, like literally. How funny I sound like twilight, but I found myself staring at his face every time he smiled. He has vampire canines, Like natalia. ^_^
He's going to teach me guitar, if I teach him how to read music.
We spent 30 minutes going over youtube videos of cool musical instruments.
Okay. Done side stepping.
Natalia texted me last night about how she's super excited to room with me, and after last night, I am too. We are totally on the same wavelength all the time. We giggle all the time. In fact, we have practically the same giggle. It weirded us out last night. We have the same interests, and lack of interests: gaming, nerdiness, hatred of hot dogs and country.
And. She's been inquiring about Borderline. Deeply. Like what to do, what triggers it. How to fix it, how to be better, how to prevent it. She really wants this to work! And that means much more to me than anything else. Someone *wants* me around on a daily basis.
This summer is going to be interesting as we prep for this. Also, as I continue to merge into some of her groups.
And for the first time in a little while, I can see the horizon, and its a good one, and I'm actually excited. :D
I just got back from Disneyland with a bunch of close friends, and maintained a huge grip on my borderline, even though there were several events that could have triggered explosiveness. This lifts my spirits more than anything. It means my therapy and rational thinking are kicking in. And my friends are all still around.
Natalia is back in Utah. Yes, that Natalia. I suggested mainly to myself one evening that it would be cool to room with someone I knew. If anything, I missed roomming with Kristen, and having someone to always do stuff with, and lots of inside jokes. However my attempts to get the other single squad members to room with me went sour, and I was left looking for other people to room with. And then Natalia moved home. And I thought, What about her?
After some back and forth, and looking at the upper level of where she is currently living we've both decided that its.... going to be an epic idea to live together. It'd be a 2 person apartment with a giant living room and kitchen. Its back in Danny and Chris's ward, over by branbury and Ben and Alex. ^_^
If anything this gives me a shot at something totally new... away from the squad. My perceived rejections should lighten up, and I will be moving away from the group for the most part, but this time I'll have someone(s) new to replace that gaping hole that led me running back to them.
I say someones, because I hung out with Natalia last night after dinner group. And I met her friends James and Eric. And they're hilarious.
And we're going to sidestep this way -> For a minute.
James.
I'm assuming we're both talking to Natalia about each other, cause when I texted her about how I thought he was cute, she started laughing hysterically. And then pointed out later that night that he was flirting with me, and how I was flirting right back.
He collects musical instruments. Like me. Pennywhistles and flutes and he has played guitar for 11 years.
Next on his list.. A dulcimer, which was next on mine after a cello, which he also wants.
Robotics major, but spent some time with music composition. (musically passionate... like me, Computer inclined... like me.
He works out. Not like me.
He has this smile I can't get out of my head, like literally. How funny I sound like twilight, but I found myself staring at his face every time he smiled. He has vampire canines, Like natalia. ^_^
He's going to teach me guitar, if I teach him how to read music.
We spent 30 minutes going over youtube videos of cool musical instruments.
Okay. Done side stepping.
Natalia texted me last night about how she's super excited to room with me, and after last night, I am too. We are totally on the same wavelength all the time. We giggle all the time. In fact, we have practically the same giggle. It weirded us out last night. We have the same interests, and lack of interests: gaming, nerdiness, hatred of hot dogs and country.
And. She's been inquiring about Borderline. Deeply. Like what to do, what triggers it. How to fix it, how to be better, how to prevent it. She really wants this to work! And that means much more to me than anything else. Someone *wants* me around on a daily basis.
This summer is going to be interesting as we prep for this. Also, as I continue to merge into some of her groups.
And for the first time in a little while, I can see the horizon, and its a good one, and I'm actually excited. :D
0 thoughts :
Post a Comment