Validation
Me: Question.
Usually people who undergo trauma most of their lives.... Aren't normal.
Am I... Not normal?
And I just don't realize it?
Nathaniel: I have a few thoughts
A) I don't think I'm qualified to give more than my perception, I am not one to make such a call. But I can say what I perceive as long as you promise to take it with salt
Me: Salt. Okay.
Nathaniel: (B) I know many people who are 'normal' mainly for lack of trials, and they often aren't very developed people.
(C) I know many many people who are 'not normal' because of trials that they try to cope around, avoid, get through, without ever really facing and working them out to the point of healing.
past trials, mostly I mean
(D) Some of the best people I know are the ones who've been 'not normal' for the trials/abuse/trauma they've been through, but who have worked through it, recognized how to rebuild, and taken the time, work, love, and pain needed to get through - typically with help from God and others, but still a labor they undertook.
(E) And, while I don't think your trials are unique, I do think they stand out in that I'm pretty sure they have affected you.
Which is maybe why I'm so dad-gum EXCITED for you to be taking control of your own life and changing the pieces one by one
me: :)
Nathaniel: No, Laura, I do not think you are 'normal,' I think you are on the intermediate of 'normal' and 'extraordinary', which we can call 'not normal' for now.
For once in a very very long time, I feel validated. Validated in that my feelings have been recognized, my opinions are heard, and I... I am told that although I fight through an enormous amount of crap, that good is coming out of it. Especially since I can't get validation of my sense of self from my parents, and close friends anymore.
And by long time, I mean, like almost 2 years.
Well, no, I take that back. I got validation from my sense of self from Danny.
Regardless, it was a beam of light in a very VERY dark and scary place last night.
1 thoughts :
Looking at the average person nowadays, why would you want to be normal anyway? ;-)
On a another note, your desire to change can lend itself to the action to change. You recognize the rubbish in your life, you change it, and while you may never be "normal", you could positively say later that you're better than normal, you're exceptional.
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