Compare
Once upon a time, a friend wanted me to grab them sheet music for "Last Kiss" and "You belong with me" by Taylor Swift. She wanted a different arrangement, and so I turned to youtube. Usually, people will put up their music, and then post a link to the sheet music. So I started sending off links to them, helping them learn to find the sheet music, and there on the search page, was this:
Yes. That's #boy.
How Am I supposed to compare to this gorgeous and talented woman?!
**cries**
Yes. That's #boy.
How Am I supposed to compare to this gorgeous and talented woman?!
**cries**
7 thoughts :
Yep, she is gorgeous and talented. And you can't compare yourself to her. But the good news is you don't have to. There are reasons it didn't work out with them, and as many reasons why he's with you now.
My apologies for getting all churchy on your blog, but Dieter F. Uchtdorf says it best:
"We spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does."
Celebrate what makes you YOU and what YOU bring to this relationship, not whether you bring as much to your relationship as she did to hers. It's a whole other ballgame now. My thoughts.
And never ever watch that video ever again.
You are my angel. Thank you for answering what has been in my head. I just find it oddly coincidental that I found it at all.
And I'd just like to second what has just been said. You are amazing, and don't forget it!
If he's shown any interest in you at all, it's because you're you, not her. You don't have to be her to be special to him, just be yourself.
Also, I second the comment of NEVER watching that video again. I know the morbid curiosity, but it does you no good.
If things didn't work out between this boy and this girl, then I imagine they both experienced--and may yet be experiencing--profound pain. Perhaps the best way to honor them both would be by having compassion on them. And perhaps the best way to honor yourself would be to treat yourself with compassion as well.
mostlyprobably said it very well. You aren't this other girl. But, considering her relationship with a boy that she seemed to love ended, I'm not sure she's someone to be envied right now. She'll have to somehow work through the hurt from all of that, and God give her the strength for it.
You aren't her. But that doesn't mean that you aren't also a uniquely wonderful person--someone who God placed on this earth with a particular set of experiences and a particular set of talents (example: you're an excellent writer) in order to serve others. You are a divine eternal being with a beautiful spirit and a bright calling. What is that calling? It may not be that your calling is ultimately tied to this boy's, but that's okay. Either way, you can love him in your own way and learn from the experience.
But don't forget that what matters most is your relationship with God. Personally, I've also struggled with feelings of rejection and have a tendency to compare myself to others, even though I feel like I should know better. I've been crushed by some of the experiences I've had. But I've learned valuable lessons from them--the most important being that what gives me joy and confidence above all else is cultivating my relationship with God. No other relationship will give you happiness--not even a marriage relationship. A marriage relationship may add to your happiness (just as it will also inevitably bring moments of agony & humiliation), but the core of happiness can only come from God.
I hope none of this sounds condescending or trivializes what you're experiencing. Feeling like you're not good enough when you so desperately want to be close to someone is agonizing. We've all experienced it. But you can't let it get you down--too many people who need your light and your talents are depending on you. You are a vibrant being independent from other people, and God has a mission for you to fulfill on this earth. What is it? It seems like from your recent post that you're already on it. You don't need any of the thought I'm sharing. :-)
Good luck and may you experience joy in the journey.
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