Where are you?
"There is so much to say...what would you say if you knew I wrote about the things we have spoken to each other? I should say them in whispered tones so that no one else may hear, but they fill me with great joy and happiness...so much that I do not want to quiet them. You are my best friend...I cannot imagine my life without you. I think that I have always felt your presence, and I know that the simple thought of you has guided my actions throughout my life. This is not to say that I have always done right, but somehow the knowledge that you were there, and that if I was righteous I would find you, always pushed me in the right direction. You do not hate me for the mistakes I've made, and do not find me abominable. Instead you rejoice in the woman I have become, and embrace me with my flawed sense of self and my at times, perverse sense of humour. You can see my spirit and my testimony, and you are supportive of my goals and dreams.
You spoke of "us" recently. "It's not "I" or "you", it's "us"...What's mine is yours (or will be in a couple years...)", you said. That you had to start thinking of us as a collective. You asked me how your plans for the future would fit with mine...if they were compatible, because you didn't want to "mess up my dreams". What a kind thing. To know that aside from caring about "us", you care about me as well? That right there is love, sir. I hope you know that I care just as much about your dreams as well...your hopes, your aspirations. I could never ask you to abandon them for me, so I suppose we'll just have to work together to make both of our dreams come true.
I can feel it inside...here. /points to heart/ I feel a confirmation that you are the right one. Its a slow, steady pulse inside me...comforting and filling my entire being. But sometimes, when I think specifically of being with you forever, that steady beat flares up a little, and makes me catch my breath, my veins fill with a more electric charge before returning to their comfortable pace. Dare I say that you are he? Or is it my mind making up that confirmation? Oh, I hope not. I cannot imagine being without you, my best friend, at my side. " - Lennika Johnson.
When i read this, I thought of Kristenfer... haha. I can not think of a more perfect couple... though Eric and Jessie are coming up fast.
Where are you? When will I find you? When will I know that its you? When will your face be my sunshine? When will your arms be my crutch? When will the thought of you coming near cause my heart to beat, and threaten to throw itself out of my chest? Where is my Eternity?
I hate being alone.
3 thoughts :
That's beautiful. And funny that you thought of me and Christopher. :) Don't worry, you'll find your eternity eventually. I know the "eventually" part is hard to understand and swallow... but God works on a different timeline. :) <3
He's out there, hun. He just won't be perfect when you first meet him. :) He'll become perfect through you. I think one of the worst hinderances I made in past {and present} relationships is my false expectations. It's good to expect things of those you love, but not unrealistic things. Anyways, he's out there. :) You WILL find him!
Typically it comes when you least expect it. Try to be your best in all that you do, and as you're chugging along you may run into the person you've been looking for all your life. Never lose hope, but look forward to what you can do tomorrow to make yourself better. Others doing the same; those lines eventually connect.
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