The Zombie Apocalypse

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

The Zombie Apocalypse


What were you doing on the night of the 27th of January, 2011?  

I was prepping for the impending zombie apocalypse that night.  

It all started when Kristen and I noticed something new on our calender: 


The following twitter conversation exploded:

Kristen: The zombie apocalypse is coming up on the 27th. It says so on our calendar.
Cory: @kristen: Wait. What calendar? Who says this?
Kristen: @Cory: Our calendar in the kitchen.
Cory: @Kristen Hmmm . . . might have to prepare. Of course, you'll survive, if past information is correct.
Kristen: I hope I'm good! I'm at least immune. We'll need a stronghold tho.
Stephanie: @Kristen: What about velociraptors? Are they coming yet?
Kristen: @Stephanie Velociraptors are not on the calendar yet. Just zombies.
Stephanie: @Kristen Ok, Good good.
Laura: @Cory @Kristen How would you prepare for this? Its not just a matter of going to Walmart right? Zombies are tougher?
Donny:@Cory @Laura @Kristen i would suggest purchasing shotguns. and maybe ammo. and maybe supplies so we dont eat kristen
Stephanie: @Donny Are you kidding? They wouldn't eat @Kristen, there's nothing on her!
Laura: Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. She has no meat. And according to @Cory, @Kristen is our best bet of surviving.
Cory: I don't know about others' best bet of surviving - just that she's always a survivor. and There's not nothing on her, but not much edible. She's a fatty fat fat fat . . .
Donny: that's why i suggested we get supplies dorks
Cory: And remember the rules. Double tap. Cardio. Seatbelts. Etc.
Laura: Ah yes..... except Stephanie doesn't know that reference.
Kristen:Cardio? Double tap? I don't think I know these rules.
Kristen: Unless it was from that one movie...
Donny: Zombieland rules of survival. maybe you were asleep...
Kristen: I'll just be around to keep the human race from dying.
Cory: Keep the Human Race from dying, huh? Be careful who you procreate with . . .
Kristen: Ah crap, that's true... I'll have to find somebody else who's immune and not a zombie.
Cory: Both very good attributes in a potential co-procreator..
Kristen: Too bad it would be too awkward to broadcast this over Facebook...
Laura: Not really..... watch this: (Created status on facebook, see farther down)
Cory: Awkward? I guess parents do read it . . . I'm sure they would agree with your criteria.
Kristen: I guess I would just think it awkward to advertise for a "co-procreator", yes? If I did though, might say something like this: "Zombie-immune female looking for a similar zombie-immune non-zombie mate (male) who would help repopulate the world after the apocalypse."
Cory: Well, how can you know who is immune? Specialized scanning equipment is needed!
Laura: I didn't want to ask you this...... but what I need to scan for zombies..... is a nuclear.......... warhead......
Kristen:Every iPhone needs the scanner!
Kristen: @laura Are you saying I'm a nuke?
Laura: No, I'm saying you'll need a nuke to detect other immune people....
Kristen: We are NOT combining BSG with the Zombie Apocalypse. Completely separate.
Cory: Agreed. But I do now declare that the black virus in Pandemic is Zombie-ism.
Kristen: Agreed.
Cory: Craig's List time.
Kristen: I kinda like this idea. Except I don't want random weirdos calling me thinking I'll give them "something something".
Laura: but you are giving them something.... you're going to be the adam and eve of the future human race!
Cory: Hmmm . . . true. Maybe a dummy email address?
Kristen: And no phone number. ... hmmm... might work. I wonder who would respond. O___o
Cory: I'm so tempted . . . >_<
Kristen: I'd feel more comfortable if you did it, lol!
Cory: I guess I could do that . . .
Laura: Dooooo it.
Laura: We should have a zombie apocalypse party
Cory: The Zombie Apocalypse, as foretold by Trevor, is now in my calendar.
Kristen: However, there might be some dumb people that really believe it. And that wouldn't be good.
Cory: Or . . . *awesome*.
Kristen: You do it then, and let me know how it goes. XD
Laura: I want a link to the craigslist for an immune zombie person.... If you're not going to do it, I totally will...
Cory: If you want to, you may, I can't do it right now. Technically, its against terms of use on Craigslist
Laura: would you call it a service offered or item wanted?
Cory: It'd go under 'personals' of course.
Laura: @kristen can I post a pic of you?
Laura: @cory But... that's personals/romance... she's not looking for romance, she's looking to create the human race.
Cory: Yeah, and that'll happen without . . . nevermind
Kristen: @laura. No. 


The Facebook Convo: 


Somebody who's immune to zombism and not a zombie, are good attributes for a future co-creator for continuing the human race after a zombie apocalypse....jsyk
24 January at 16:34 · Privacy: ·  · 

    • Daniel Craig Friend Is that some kind of a subtle ad?
      24 January at 16:39 · 

    • Kristen Giles And he has to be kinda cute too... just sayin'.
      24 January at 16:44 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson ‎@daniel, well, are you not a zombie and are you immune to zombie-ism?
      24 January at 16:47 · 

    • Daniel Craig Friend Yes on the first one; untested on the second. But I am pretty cool.
      24 January at 16:49 · 

    • Kristen Giles We'll need to test you then, just to see if you're in the running.
      24 January at 16:49 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson if you get tested, and find yourself immune, then you will be a good procreator for someone else who is immune. Good luck finding another immune person. Kristen here is immune.... you could try dating her...
      24 January at 16:50 · 

    • Kristen Giles ‎*facepalm*
      24 January at 16:50 ·  ·  2 people

    • Kristen Giles We're just trying to find the immune ones here. Not set people up.
      24 January at 16:50 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson ‎@kristen...this was MUCH easier than craigslist.
      24 January at 16:50 · 

    • Kristen Giles At least it's you and not me.
      24 January at 16:51 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson I'm not immune.... somehow I end up a zombie in Cory's dreams...
      24 January at 16:51 · 

    • Kristen Giles Which I find funny. You'll either need to be in an underground facility or outside when the zombies come.
      24 January at 16:52 · 

    • Ben Quilter how do you know if you're immune? :S
      24 January at 16:53 · 

    • Kristen Giles There's an app for that.
      24 January at 16:54 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson So far, its if you survive in Cory's zombie dreams.... But i think other methods are being developed
      24 January at 16:54 · 

    • Ben Quilter I guess I'll have to check this out.
      24 January at 16:54 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson If this ad went on Craigslist, would you consider it a Service needed, item wanted, or personals/romance?
      24 January at 16:57 · 

    • Ben Quilter probably a service needed. You're not looking for romance, just zombie proof offspring. I suppose item wanted would work too...
      24 January at 16:58 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson Yeah, in the twitter version of this conversation, Cory disagrees....
      24 January at 16:58 · 

    • Ben Quilter it was his dream, he's probably the authority.
      24 January at 17:00 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson KRISTEN WILL SMITH IS IMMUNE.... TREVOR will finally have a black brother in law.... at least its not obama anymore....
      24 January at 17:08 · 

    • Xander Hacking I have partial immunity, meaning as long as I have ammunition I am immune
      24 January at 18:03 · 

    • James Symonds service needed
      24 January at 18:04 · 

    • Christer P Smith I'm zombine immune but only because I'm a vampire. Daniel can attest to that. And I don't think anyone has the ammunition you find on underworld.
      24 January at 18:23 · 

    • Stephen Cazier Wow.....
      24 January at 20:18 · 

    • Dan Crookston I'm immune to hepatitis. If the zombie plague is related, it might carry over.
      25 January at 04:51 · 

    • Del Ray Bascom I've never seen this technique of looking for someone to mate with. I shall have to give it a try.
      25 January at 08:36 · 

    • Dan Crookston I didn't read this carefully enough to see the part about reproducing. I'm going to have to withdraw my (accidental) application - I have a prior commitment.
      25 January at 09:41 · 

    • Ben Quilter http://theoatmeal.com/quiz/zombie_bite
      Turns out I'd only last a couple hours. No can do on that service thing.

      25 January at 09:45 · 

    • Laura Crystal Wilkinson Good, cause you're marrying Caitlynn.
      25 January at 11:34 · 

    • Kristen Giles Apparently I'd only last 55 minutes. These tests need to consolidate so I can know if I'm really immune.
      25 January at 13:52 · 

    • Christer P Smith Huh, according to that site, 1 hr 45 min. that sounds really short.
      25 January at 23:46 · 

    • Kristen Giles Is it from the time that you get BITTEN or when the zombies start appearing?
      25 January at 23:46 · 

    • Ben Quilter from the time you get bitten, not from the outbreak.
      26 January at 09:15 · 


Really, we created a fort in my living room, everyone showed up wearing camo,  and we played battlestar galactica.  :)

 P.S. Check out my 101 in 1001 and see how I'm doing!

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