Understanding
Twitterfriend: But any emotions that weren't positive were rejected, so I learned to push them all aside. That's not a healthy way to live. Fundamentally flawed. Yes. It's the worst feeling in the world. Nobody should have to feel that way.
me: I feel like if I want to be someone who is wanted or accepted, then I have to be the friend who never gets mad or who never feels angry
Twitterfriend: Even now, I still feel that way. I've been married for 15 years to a wonderful man, and there's still a part of me that says, "there's just something not right."Because if you get mad enough times, or even once, they will leave. Everyone leaves.
me: Even though I recognize that other people are annoying and are still accepted.
Twitterfriend: Because those emotions are BAD. I know.
I'm so sorry.
And the hell of it all is that we have more empathy and feel more deeply than the average person
She knows. Someone approached me on twitter about my borderline, because she was diagnosed with it at 18, and is now 35, and she has been through so much work.
She got hers from her environment growing up.
Even now as I live in my house, I'm told I have to be in compliance with their way of life to live there, that any feelings of difference should be kept to myself and let go of, cause they're incorrect.
Which follows the "my emotions are wrong" "my existence is wrong" statements that I've said long before I ever heard about Borderline.
And even then, no one understands.
Except for her.
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