GARGH!
I'm just rambling. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment.
I wrote this to Jillian offline :
i'm not sure if i'm supposed to be thrilled that more of what my boyfriend feels and says and likes is up on twitter rather than telling it to me
I went through all his twitter updates. ALL OF THEM. from april. I learned more about him during this half an hour project than he's ever told me. It was enlightening... and the stuff he posted wasn't all that important.
He spilled mountain dew on himself.
He feels like he's always babysitting ( what is THAT all about???? )
"Taking laura to the doctor, how's THAT for starting out your day?" ( Well.. fine, we'll get his car and he can go himself to work. )
"I realize I don't quite share the ability to watch home (friend) movies over and over and over like Laura can." (well *I* don't realize that, and you wasted 30 minutes by not telling me, and i wouldn't have minded not doing it... not to mention you were happily texting stephanie while telling me you were tweeting)
"Can you turn it up?" "Or you could just be quieter. **Sigh**" (um.... not even going there)
I'm in the gym in the dead of night. Vampyr Slayer habits kicking in, perhance? ( wait.. what? up late... I'm sure i was around when you went. ( accidentally falling asleep at his place) )
So, no dreams. Oh well. Was worth a shot. Messed up movie selection was The Cell ( wait... you watched the cell without me? That's one i've always wanted to watch.... believe it or not, i do like waking up to do stuff with you, especially if you're the one waking me up.... )
Victory!!! RT @donttrythis Just got off the phone with AT&T and they've taken care of everything to my great satisfaction.#twitterrules ( You're getting the 3gs..... good job, I'd be so happy for you... if you'd tell me. (and then you get mad at me when i made a comment that you weren't happy about at&t because of this fact, and claim you sent something about at&t to me. )
More and more I feel the lack of laptop. Seriously looking at a 13" MacBook Pro. (Probably wouldn't have known about that one if i hadn't walked into your cubicle. )
honestly it looks like i'm trying to get him to tell me EVERYTHING, but on the contrary, he doesn't tell me ANYTHING... and i sit cubicles away.... not far at all.... hence why these little glimpses into his day are exciting and enlightning. The things he says, are things like I'd say.... I'd love to hear them back, and i've told him this.
i feel...... Like what ever we had when we started dating is gone. When he used to be so excited that i was dating him. I used to get touches like i was a fragile flower getting ready to die. But now not so much. Has he just lost interest? I've noticed he's doing lots of things secretive. He's texting someone all the time.. I .... dont... I'm possessive and jealous. But I'm not allowed to be. I want to be an AWESOME girlfriend. Not some controling over dramatic person like his last girlfriend. I was a little upset the other day when i asked him to hang out with me after he worked out, but instead he went to hang out with someone else. I was a little stung. I let him know that, and he got upset. Which got me upset, and ended up in a fight. We've been fighting alot lately. I think i'm getting irritated at him for not doing things that he used to.
Today in the car, I was upset at my mom, and do i expect him to comfort me anymore... not after today... he continued on with his lovely daily life.
Every time i like... NEED him, he doesn't quite understand that, and other things get thrown in first. I've been ready to burst into tears for the past couple hours, and all he can seem to care about is his scuba homework.
I've gotten to the point where when i get surprised when he does little things. When i get a hug or something. It almost brings me to happy tears.
* sigh * Boys really are oblivious and non observant. Even the most observant. I need to get my scuba homework done. but I'm throwing this out there... just cause i feel like passively announcing it to the world. Mayne one day he'll check up on me.
Actually. I'm going to continue on to say that i've been watching carefully, and watching his reactions.... things are not the same at all.... Jillian thinks its time for a break... but will that harm or help things? I don't want to lose him... I'm scared for my life concerning this..... I don't know what to do.... * sniff sniff Cry *
I went through all his twitter updates. ALL OF THEM. from april. I learned more about him during this half an hour project than he's ever told me. It was enlightening... and the stuff he posted wasn't all that important.
He spilled mountain dew on himself.
He feels like he's always babysitting ( what is THAT all about???? )
"Taking laura to the doctor, how's THAT for starting out your day?" ( Well.. fine, we'll get his car and he can go himself to work. )
"I realize I don't quite share the ability to watch home (friend) movies over and over and over like Laura can." (well *I* don't realize that, and you wasted 30 minutes by not telling me, and i wouldn't have minded not doing it... not to mention you were happily texting stephanie while telling me you were tweeting)
"Can you turn it up?" "Or you could just be quieter. **Sigh**" (um.... not even going there)
I'm in the gym in the dead of night. Vampyr Slayer habits kicking in, perhance? ( wait.. what? up late... I'm sure i was around when you went. ( accidentally falling asleep at his place) )
So, no dreams. Oh well. Was worth a shot. Messed up movie selection was The Cell ( wait... you watched the cell without me? That's one i've always wanted to watch.... believe it or not, i do like waking up to do stuff with you, especially if you're the one waking me up.... )
Victory!!! RT @donttrythis Just got off the phone with AT&T and they've taken care of everything to my great satisfaction.#twitterrules ( You're getting the 3gs..... good job, I'd be so happy for you... if you'd tell me. (and then you get mad at me when i made a comment that you weren't happy about at&t because of this fact, and claim you sent something about at&t to me. )
More and more I feel the lack of laptop. Seriously looking at a 13" MacBook Pro. (Probably wouldn't have known about that one if i hadn't walked into your cubicle. )
honestly it looks like i'm trying to get him to tell me EVERYTHING, but on the contrary, he doesn't tell me ANYTHING... and i sit cubicles away.... not far at all.... hence why these little glimpses into his day are exciting and enlightning. The things he says, are things like I'd say.... I'd love to hear them back, and i've told him this.
i feel...... Like what ever we had when we started dating is gone. When he used to be so excited that i was dating him. I used to get touches like i was a fragile flower getting ready to die. But now not so much. Has he just lost interest? I've noticed he's doing lots of things secretive. He's texting someone all the time.. I .... dont... I'm possessive and jealous. But I'm not allowed to be. I want to be an AWESOME girlfriend. Not some controling over dramatic person like his last girlfriend. I was a little upset the other day when i asked him to hang out with me after he worked out, but instead he went to hang out with someone else. I was a little stung. I let him know that, and he got upset. Which got me upset, and ended up in a fight. We've been fighting alot lately. I think i'm getting irritated at him for not doing things that he used to.
Today in the car, I was upset at my mom, and do i expect him to comfort me anymore... not after today... he continued on with his lovely daily life.
Every time i like... NEED him, he doesn't quite understand that, and other things get thrown in first. I've been ready to burst into tears for the past couple hours, and all he can seem to care about is his scuba homework.
I've gotten to the point where when i get surprised when he does little things. When i get a hug or something. It almost brings me to happy tears.
* sigh * Boys really are oblivious and non observant. Even the most observant. I need to get my scuba homework done. but I'm throwing this out there... just cause i feel like passively announcing it to the world. Mayne one day he'll check up on me.
Actually. I'm going to continue on to say that i've been watching carefully, and watching his reactions.... things are not the same at all.... Jillian thinks its time for a break... but will that harm or help things? I don't want to lose him... I'm scared for my life concerning this..... I don't know what to do.... * sniff sniff Cry *
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