Mr. Vice.... Point of Order
Sorry i haven't written in a while... i promise i will.... soon. I have to catch you all up on everything... Yes, Bryan and Weston are home... Yes, Socorro's still getting married... Yes, I'm still hanging out with Christopher... Yes, i'm going back to school in the spring.. but there's a ton of other stuff too....
For now though... ( i copied this straight from facebook.... )
So, i have to tell this story, cause its too good not to.
I went to the Military Ball with Xander Hacking last night, let me tell you, it was a blast. But, i got him in 'trouble' and now have 3 counts against him, while he's left sputtering for revenge. And yes, there is a video.
So, I left work early so i had time to get ready. Teal was going to do my hair, and i had borrowed a dress from Jill. Xander came to get me so that i didn't have to take the bus home for an hour, and in a sense, have more time to get ready. As it was stormy, we went to go pick up Teal from her hair place, and she called us while we were en route to tell us she was walking next door to eat. So we pulled up at the place, decided that we were hungry and went in to eat.
Backtracking, Xander had told me on Sunday that the dance was at 6, and that he wanted to pick me up at 5:45. In my mind, i had just thought of this as a regular dance, and with most dances.. everyone is late.. So i figured that we'd be fine...
So after eating Xander dropped Teal and i off at my apartment, and said I'll pick you up at 5:45... Teal and I both looked at him Dumbfounded... it was 5:00 ish.. how was i supposed to be ready in 45 minutes...
Xander: I'll pick you guys up at 5:45
*Teal and Laura make faces *
Teal: You're giving us 45 minutes?
Xander: we HAVE to be there at 6
Laura: Why?
Xander: Something about grog bowls and quarters, though i've always wondered if it was a joke played on the 1st years by the 3rd years to make them show up on time.. i'd rather not risk it.
Laura: What's a grog bowl.
Xander: I don't know
Teal: Well, we'll do our best.
So Teal and i walk in to my apartment, and i'm carrying 2 other dresses to try on from Brooke. I went to go try them on while Teal set up all her hair stuff. Brookes dresses were nice, but there was no way in heck that we were going to be able to pin it.. i'm a little smaller than she is.. so i had 2 choices, I had my blue evening gown from the Miss Orem pagent, or I had this gorgeous purple dress from Jill... I went with the purple dress.. it was poofy, and flowy, and i wanted to waltz in it... to heck with the fact that it was purple and purple wasn't one of my colors....
So Teal went to work on my hair. In the process we had called Jill and had a hilarious time chatting with her while doing my hair. It gets to be 5:45 and Jill is stalling as long as possible before he comes to get me. Finally around 6 she's like.. i'm sending your date to you. Teal was like.. ok, i'm pretty much done.
Xander comes over, and Teal sits him down in the living room. I'm wearing the dress but have next to no make up on, and Teal takes care of that. She starts putting on lots more Mascara, and Eyeliner, and Eye Shadow.... ( I haven't worn eyeshadow since like.. right after the Miss Orem Pagent.)
Xander from the living room could hear my cries of pain...
TEAL!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHY IS THAT THERE? LEAVE IT ALONE! GET RID OF IT!
I'm pretty sure he was laughing
Brooke and Socorro showed up 2 seconds later to see me... said i was beautiful, we took pictures and then i walked out to see Xander. We took Teal home, and then headed for the dance... it was 6:30.. ish when we were finally leaving...
That all that i told you was the ok part.. here is where the best part comes in.
We got to UVSC, and couldn't park in the Sorenson center parking it was full, so we went and parked up at the Library parking. We wandered through the Library and through the student center ( Xander didn't have a clue where we were going, and its a good thing that i graduated from this place already and knew how to get where we were going.)
So i got to wander for a little while looking really pretty next to a guy in a spiffy uniform... Here's a picture for your reference...
We wandered in along the purple line... Everyone was facing the table with Mr. Vice. And it was quiet.. Xander and i looked at the signs to see where we were sitting and walked in.. Everyone was facing us, and everyone saw that we came in late....
The Mr. Vice person was explaining how to drink from the grog bowl...
Mr. Vice: You salute, then drink it all, then turn it upside down over your head to show everyone that you drank it all
He also pointed out a boot where you had to put quarters in for this charity when you came up.
I was kind of half paying attention at this time. I was more concerned with the fact that i had 300 people looking at me as i walked in.... Then they had Mr. Vice test the food.. it was satisfactory so we went to get food and started eating...
They had this booklet. There was a list of the 'Violations of the Mess'
VIOLATIONS OF THE MESS:
1. Untimely arrival at proceedings
2. Belching and other breaches of common etiquette
3. Haggling over date of rank
4. Inverted cummerbund
5. Loud obtrusive remarks in a foreign language
6. Improper toasting procedure
7. Leaving the dining room without permission from the President of the Mess
8. Carrying cocktails into the dining area before the conclusion of dinner
9. Foul Language
... etc.
Well i saw this first one and started freaking out thinking i was going to get him in serious trouble. Everyone kept assuring me that everything was ok..
I heard from the people at my table, that this grog bowl has liquid in it that had vinegar, salt, other ingredients and apparently had underwear in it at one time. Sounds Gross right...?
Well as we started eating... the ROTC people started doing something weird. A very average conversation would go like this.
*Random ROTC person stands up *
Random Person: Mr. Vice.. Point of Order
Mr. Vice: Go ahead
Random Person: So-and-So clapped during a toast.
Mr. Vice: So-and-So Get up here and take your punishment
*So-and-So walks up, takes a cup, salutes, drinks, turns cup upside down, and drops a quarter or 2 into the boot.
Mr. Vice dishes out a punishment - Do the hula, Dance the macarena, gargle the Grog stuff for 20 seconds.. etc.
Men are the weirdest people. (well the Women too.. i guess i should say Military people are SO weird. ) THEY LIKED TO HUMILIATE EACH OTHER... so i started thinking... and conspiring like i usually do... and thought.. how can i turn this to my advantage....
After things had kind of calmed down... i took a deep breath.. and stood up.
MR VICE! i said with a loud voice.. Point of Order!
He kind of looked at me with a weird look like.. what the heck is she doing? She's not ROTC... He was like... "Yes.. Ma'am?"...
I had been told numerous times that i was immune and couldn't get in trouble here for breaching of protocol.. etc.. that still didn't help my nerves.. every single eye was on me.. and i had no idea what was going to happen...
I grinned and pointed at Xander.... "My date brought me in Late!"
There was a pause from Mr. Vice, and everyone else, and then everyone burst up in laughter. Mr. Vice was like... "What would you like as punishment? "
I hadn't thought that far yet, so i said.. "Your choice. " So Xander stood up and walked to the front to go partake of the yummy grog drink... On the way up Mr. Vice said this:
Since you've clearly offended your date, we're going to give you the opportunity to Woo her, and we're going to help you.. You are going to sing to her... you have 3 choices: Can you feel the love tonight, A whole new world, (and one other i can't remember). You get to think about it while you are drinking.
I'm at the table cracking up, and i swear the guy sitting across from me was going to die laughing.
After Xander got done drinking, he picked Can you feel the love tonight..
Mr. Vice: That has dialog in it.. .You will need a battle buddy.
Immediately , the other guy at our table who was sitting next to Xander, ducked down, and Xander called out his name.... So he had to go up too... They sang the song.. here's the video : http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=543281682169
Afterwards, they went to sit down, and someone else stood up....with a crying baby...
Random Person: Mr. Vice, Point of Order!
Mr. Vice: Yes?
Random Person: * pointing at Xander and the other guy* These cadets woke my baby.
Mr. Vice: * Points at Xander and who ever the other guy was * Get back up here...
They then had to whistle the army song while chewing a huge cracker...
It ended.. we danced, went back to Donny's and Xander's place, walked over the the SWKT, watched Stargate SG-1 with Cory and Teal, and then i went home at 1:30...
Anyway.. that's my story and my night. ... he's still recovering from that, and he now has to plot revenge for 3 instances that i have against him....
*evil grin *
1 thoughts :
Great work.
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