[Body Hair]
Its weird that this would be the first post that I post as I start coming back to my blog. Last night I posted a video to facebook and my snapchat feed (its okay if you dont' watch it, there will definitely be pictures from it through out my post)
https://www.facebook.com/Kikastrophe/videos/10102150736982819/
I feel the need to explain something that's very important to me. I feel the need to explain that if you only know me through this blog, there is a massive different between who I was in the last post, and who I am now, and there are several posts in the works to explain where my identity shift has come from.
But for now, enjoy this post from my facebook:
1. As a feminist, I resist anything that society pressures me to do. If a woman doesn't want to have kids (because its against the norm) she shouldn't be declared mentally unstable, or questioned at every chance or told she'll change her mind.
But what about women with an over abundance of testosterone? Those who grow beards and can't help themself (I think its an ovary problem) I myself have a mustache I have to shave. What about those with cancer and lose their hair. What specifically is determining how much of a woman they are because last I checked, no one else should be determining my identity of a woman.
So I guess it comes full circle. It originally was a personal choice for me. I prefer no hair. Mostly because its hot outside, and I shaved because its hot (trust me I enjoyed my no shaving days) but occasionally I go on these things where I try to see beauty in my self, like go without makeup for a week to get used to my natural face again, and this started out that way (as well as being an activist). I remember times when I'd go to the doctors, and they had to look at my legs or feet and i was petrified that they would be seeing my hairy legs, and those emotions are gone, never again will i feel embarassed for the state of my body hair. Which was my original point for myself.
The end.
https://www.facebook.com/Kikastrophe/videos/10102150736982819/
I feel the need to explain something that's very important to me. I feel the need to explain that if you only know me through this blog, there is a massive different between who I was in the last post, and who I am now, and there are several posts in the works to explain where my identity shift has come from.
But for now, enjoy this post from my facebook:
I was at my best friend's house, and was told her 4 year old had proclaimed as she looked at her 4 year old legs with baby hair, that girls don't have hair on their legs and seem despaired that she was less of a girl because she had hair. SHE WAS 4 and she somehow had gotten it into her head either by other girls, pre-school, tv, commercials "what makes a girl a girl"
It wasn't even puberty hair, just the fuzz on her legs. My best friend was also heartbroken and was ready to grow her own hair out to prove this point.
In the middle of my grow out, I showed her that I had hair, and I was a girl.
this experiment for myself had multiple reasons. and I learned several things.
1. As a feminist, I resist anything that society pressures me to do. If a woman doesn't want to have kids (because its against the norm) she shouldn't be declared mentally unstable, or questioned at every chance or told she'll change her mind.
this also includes others who vocally try and determine how feminine i am when I choose myself not to wear makeup, wear sweats, want a career, and if i happened to be lazy enough, not shave.
2. The practice of women shaving is sexist. Because the minute people say "ew" to a girl, and not to a guy, somehow there's an acceptance factor in there, and there shouldn't be. And the funny thing is that the practice was created in a society to 'make women prettier for men and following the male standard of beauty.
I myself have learned that I could actually see myself as pretty, as I would do my hair in the morning and notice the hair in my armpits. When I first started growing it out, I was so self conscious that I pissed people off in my research lab asking all the time if it was distracting, and i was having super anxious feelings about walking around in shorts with leg hair. Ultimately I got yelled at because no one in my lab cared, and alot of the perception was on myself, and I learned not to care about the perceptions of others.
When I moved out of the lab setting and started 'baring my hair' to more people, others did notice. I was told "Ew" by other people. I was told by people that I was 'unlady-like' and their words and phrases implied that I was less of a woman, less of a lady, less feminine because of my choices, when me, and who i am didn't change a single bit. These people were dictating my womanhood based on a superficial characteristics.
But what about women with an over abundance of testosterone? Those who grow beards and can't help themself (I think its an ovary problem) I myself have a mustache I have to shave. What about those with cancer and lose their hair. What specifically is determining how much of a woman they are because last I checked, no one else should be determining my identity of a woman.
I mentored at a Girls CyberSecurity Camp and bore my legs there. By the end of the camp, 3 other girls were also wearing their shorts with body hair. I don't know if they had the testosterone problems, or what. I had a mother talk to me afterwards to thank me for doing it. (came out of nowhere, and I still don't know why. Just that her daughter had come home and talked about the body hair on my legs) But somehow I showed those girls that this super awesome female hacker mentor proudly wore body hair and I was still accepted by all my peers, and that they should be accepted as well.
So I guess it comes full circle. It originally was a personal choice for me. I prefer no hair. Mostly because its hot outside, and I shaved because its hot (trust me I enjoyed my no shaving days) but occasionally I go on these things where I try to see beauty in my self, like go without makeup for a week to get used to my natural face again, and this started out that way (as well as being an activist). I remember times when I'd go to the doctors, and they had to look at my legs or feet and i was petrified that they would be seeing my hairy legs, and those emotions are gone, never again will i feel embarassed for the state of my body hair. Which was my original point for myself.
But somehow it evolved. I became a meatshield of sorts for others. I showed acceptance and proved that girls come in all shapes and sizes with all sorts of choices and decorations on their body.
And ultimately, this video, with a shortened span of text available, was me dictating, (and I apologize if it came off snooty) that you should never ever be dictating what makes me a woman. You are allowed your preferences. You do not get to pressure me into them.
1 thoughts :
I haven't shaved my armpits in over a year. My legs probably not in two. It does take quite a while to adjust and not worry what other people are thinking, especially when you wear skirts as much as I do.
The upshot to aggravating my social anxiety is that my kids think body hair is perfectly normal. They know that as they develop into teenagers and adults that hair growing in certain areas is part of the deal. They're 3 and 5.
I'm fortunate to have a husband who doesn't mind one way or the other (though if I shave, I need to shave often because otherwise things get prickly).
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