This is in reference to the anonymous post on "shadow"
Dear Anonymous. Thank you for your comment, you have given me much to think about. Over the past little while, I've come to realize my 'bouts of generosity' are really mechanisms for me to prevent rejection, and yeah, I'm actually pretty self centered when you get down to it.
I appreciate the time you took to share bits and pieces of your life. For the most part I consider my childhood to be mostly friendless. Whether it was trading homework help for people to sit with at lunch, or trying to be smart enough that people would try and flock to me maybe, it boggles my mind that there were people out there who hated me. It actually created some unintentional, yet welcome emotion.
and on top of that, how wonderful it was to feel that someone coveted my life, even though the last 3 years have been jokingly known is the 3 years of Hell. There have been happy moments, but most of the last 3 years have been tearful and painful, full of PTSD and obsessive pain as I lost someone who meant the world to me due to my own ignorance and stupidity.
But that I still seemed interesting and portrayed the correct sides of me in the blog.
But that's the Histrionic side of me talking.
Really, I'm not sure what this "we would have been friends in a different time" means cause we can still be friends. I want to meet these kids of yours and this husband. Your story gives me hope. Alot of hope. That mistakes, (if you choose to call them that) can be made that at the time are crisis's and you can still end up happy.
And by hearing your story, I feel that if you can do it, I can do it. My trial is by no means the same as yours. Yours conflicts your life differently than mine, and alot of the time its hard to figure out how I'm functioning at all. And I'm sure at times during your life you felt the same way.
Thank you for your story. I've started looking into the website. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I'm reading anyway.
Thank you.
Laura
Dear Anonymous. Thank you for your comment, you have given me much to think about. Over the past little while, I've come to realize my 'bouts of generosity' are really mechanisms for me to prevent rejection, and yeah, I'm actually pretty self centered when you get down to it.
I appreciate the time you took to share bits and pieces of your life. For the most part I consider my childhood to be mostly friendless. Whether it was trading homework help for people to sit with at lunch, or trying to be smart enough that people would try and flock to me maybe, it boggles my mind that there were people out there who hated me. It actually created some unintentional, yet welcome emotion.
and on top of that, how wonderful it was to feel that someone coveted my life, even though the last 3 years have been jokingly known is the 3 years of Hell. There have been happy moments, but most of the last 3 years have been tearful and painful, full of PTSD and obsessive pain as I lost someone who meant the world to me due to my own ignorance and stupidity.
But that I still seemed interesting and portrayed the correct sides of me in the blog.
But that's the Histrionic side of me talking.
Really, I'm not sure what this "we would have been friends in a different time" means cause we can still be friends. I want to meet these kids of yours and this husband. Your story gives me hope. Alot of hope. That mistakes, (if you choose to call them that) can be made that at the time are crisis's and you can still end up happy.
And by hearing your story, I feel that if you can do it, I can do it. My trial is by no means the same as yours. Yours conflicts your life differently than mine, and alot of the time its hard to figure out how I'm functioning at all. And I'm sure at times during your life you felt the same way.
Thank you for your story. I've started looking into the website. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but I'm reading anyway.
Thank you.
Laura
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