James
This week has been an interesting week. I have been terrified, and joyous at the same time. Its also never been easier to control my borderline. I'm going to start back at the beginning. Note: This is a conglomeration of several different sides of the same story.
3 weeks ago:
I started FBing Natalia. She was back in the area, and we were starting to discuss roomming. I was invited to a FB group for a sunday dinner night.
I remember things. I remember her posts about Eric, Grant, Brooke and James. Stories of fun times. I was mildly curious about this group, and i guess, I have secret hopes of migrating into this group as an added bonus of roomming with natalia. My problem lied in that as my own friends knew about Natalia from the battle of the Blgos, I'm sure this group knew about me.
I wandered through the names of the people who were in the dinner group, and came across James.
I Facebook stalked him. I went through his pictures, and didn't find anything until this:
In fact, I saved the picture to my hard drive, and cell phone.
Last sunday:
There I was editing my Disneyland pictures when I got a text from Natalia inviting me to her place for dinner.
Self: But. Pictures!
Self: But.. Natalia! You should go see her!
Self: But.. you might get to meet James as well.
Self: but. Wait. James? * considers * *looks longingly at computer* all right, I'll go. but just for a bit.
I dress up in my lovely orange outfit. and head out the door, an hour later than expected.
I arrive at Natalia's place. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. Nervous as I was, I walked in and she happily greeted me. I glanced around the room. All females, except for one guy, and it was not who I was looking for. I sat down, and was told the food was almost done. Conversation happened. I made an offhanded comment about wanting to meet the people she keeps blogging about. James and Eric. One of the girls in the room spoke up. "They left already"
I blanched. How was I supposed to meet them?
"But they said they were coming back"
I paused and whipped my head around to the other girl who had said something.
"They are?"
"Yup, they had to go do something"
Well then, I had to wait. ......... dang it I had to wait.
I pipped into some of the conversations happening, distracted. I was observing Natalia. She was going to be my future roommate. I wanted to know if we would still work together. The windows were open and I heard noises. Male voices. They came down the steps, and opened the door, and in walked Eric, followed behind by James.
James.
James related to me later that he came in the door and looked at where he had been seated previously and thought: "Wow, is there actually someone hot in here?" Noting that there was an empty seat next to me, he made his way towards it after hugging Natalia again.
I remember thinking that he was shorted that I expected, but then again Eric is tall. He was cute. Something made him smile, and I was lost on that for a second, I kid you not. He hugged Natalia and I kind of scooted closer to the edge of the couch making as much room as possible so that they would come sit next to me. Eric sat down first on the other side of the couch, leaving the space between us open for James.
He sat down..... and didn't even look at me. Didn't say hi. Nothing. Eric wasn't even talking to him. I remember smoothing out my dress, and trying to look at him without really looking at him. Natalia announced that the food was ready and that the females should all go first. I stood up and walked into the kitchen, trying to figure out what to say to catch their attention. Before doing so, I pulled out my phone, and discreetly texted Natalia these words.
"Dear Natalia, James is Hot. That is all."
*James related that he likes forward girls, he was also trying to observe me without directly observing me. He sat down next to eric, watching what I would do, and how I interacted with others.
In the kitchen I was talking to Natalia, desperately trying to find a way to say something just loud enough that they would hear me, and maybe have them speak up. I started talking about Pax tickets, and how they were all sold out. Nothing. I was standing in the doorway.
I heard Eric say: "Who's phone is this?" They weren't listening. I emphasized halo and xbox with nothing, and then again how I would try and get tickets for her BECAUSE IT WAS THE BIGGEST GAMING CONVENTION ON THE WEST COAST!" I was loud. I giggle at myself now, but it worked because Eric spoke up. Gaming? Wha? which one?
"Pax" I said, a little smug. Penny Arcade Expo. This will be my 3rd year going. And then James looked up. I could see his blue eyes from across the room. Eric kept talking. "Do you dress up?" And Natalia responded with "Laura dressed up way cool! She went as Cortana last year and then James said, "Um, how... exactly do you do that? She's kind of..." And I responded with the Body suit, and promised I'd show them a picture. And then I happily went to get food.
James: Eric is the best wingman ever. Do you remember when he said "who's phone is this? " He had put his hand down and found an iPhone. And then a text came through on the phone. And it said "Dear Natalia, James is Hot.." and that's all he could see. So he figured out it was natalia's phone, but, now he was trying to figure out who Laura was. And then Natalia answered that question by answering about Cortana. somehow he needed to alert me to this whole thing without giving everything away.
I grabbed my food and went to sit down next to them, pulling out my phone to show off my cortana outfit. Eric kept asking lots of questions. James was silent. They went to get food. And came back, and Eric kept asking questions. "was I the only one who dressed up? How often do I play games? Which games do I play? What am I majoring in? "
And then Eric got preoccupied, and I asked James, What are you into? What are you majoring in? He looked up at me from his food and I was literally caught off guard by his face. Its HARD talking to an attractive person. OMG. I had to look away. He told me he was a Robotics major.
"like.. mechatronics major at UVU?"
he seemed taken aback, impressed that I knew that.
I quickly replied with "I'm an IT major there. emphasis in computer forensics." He mentioned that he was going to SLCC. I mentioned that he and Eric should look into going to Pax if we can get tickets. Eric mentioned he was getting married and James said: "Oh, that's when I'm moving to Slc. Oh wait! that's a different haha. never mind. that's next year." I distinctly remember the thought process of "OH NO! You're leaving? How will I get to know you by then?"
And then it was over.
We finished our food. I took my plate into the kitchen and James mentioned to Natalia he was going to leave, he had to make himself a cake for his birthday. and politely excused himself. Natalia made us all sing happy birthday to him, and he stood by the door waiting for eric.
This was the weird part. Eric stood up, looked at James, then pointed at me and said "What was your name?" And I responded with Laura. Then he stopped for a second. Looked like he was about to leave and then asked everyone else in the room what their names were, then when he got back to me, said, Laura right? and I confirmed it and they left.
I remember thinking... he wanted to know my name for some reason then was trying to cover it up by asking everyone else's name.
They left, and I wondered when I would see them again.
James: When They got out of earshot of the house, Eric asked... What'd you think of Laura? and Then explained everything about the texts. They got home, and All James could think about was me. He wanted to see me again, but didn't know how, and Eric suggested that they invite Natalia over to help make cake, and then casually see if I was still around and invite me over too.
At natalia's, we went upstairs to look at our future apartment, and decided we liked it. She had also looked at her phone and chuckled to herself when she saw my already spread text, saying "I'm okay with this." And we had a small discussion about James. Natalia then got a phone call and I only heard half of it.
"JAMES! you're alive!"
"What? Oh, I can't come, I don't have a car"
I immediately blurted out: "I can take you wherever you're going." Instinctively thinking that if I took her, maybe I'd get to stay.
Natalia: "Oh! Laura can take me. So I can come. Wait. Can laura come? " *Silence* HAhaha. YES PLEASE they said."
And I grinned. She got off the phone and repeated the YES PLEASE. And then remarked, they must have been talking about you.
I drove her there. The entire time my heart hammering and my brain repeating one word over and over and over again. James James James. Its the weirdest sensation I'll ever feel. And I wonder if that's what an immediate crush feels like. I knew nothing, yet was intrigued by him.
I entered their house.
End of part 1. :D
3 weeks ago:
I started FBing Natalia. She was back in the area, and we were starting to discuss roomming. I was invited to a FB group for a sunday dinner night.
I remember things. I remember her posts about Eric, Grant, Brooke and James. Stories of fun times. I was mildly curious about this group, and i guess, I have secret hopes of migrating into this group as an added bonus of roomming with natalia. My problem lied in that as my own friends knew about Natalia from the battle of the Blgos, I'm sure this group knew about me.
I wandered through the names of the people who were in the dinner group, and came across James.
I Facebook stalked him. I went through his pictures, and didn't find anything until this:
In fact, I saved the picture to my hard drive, and cell phone.
Last sunday:
There I was editing my Disneyland pictures when I got a text from Natalia inviting me to her place for dinner.
Self: But. Pictures!
Self: But.. Natalia! You should go see her!
Self: But.. you might get to meet James as well.
Self: but. Wait. James? * considers * *looks longingly at computer* all right, I'll go. but just for a bit.
I dress up in my lovely orange outfit. and head out the door, an hour later than expected.
I arrive at Natalia's place. I haven't seen her in almost 2 years. Nervous as I was, I walked in and she happily greeted me. I glanced around the room. All females, except for one guy, and it was not who I was looking for. I sat down, and was told the food was almost done. Conversation happened. I made an offhanded comment about wanting to meet the people she keeps blogging about. James and Eric. One of the girls in the room spoke up. "They left already"
I blanched. How was I supposed to meet them?
"But they said they were coming back"
I paused and whipped my head around to the other girl who had said something.
"They are?"
"Yup, they had to go do something"
Well then, I had to wait. ......... dang it I had to wait.
I pipped into some of the conversations happening, distracted. I was observing Natalia. She was going to be my future roommate. I wanted to know if we would still work together. The windows were open and I heard noises. Male voices. They came down the steps, and opened the door, and in walked Eric, followed behind by James.
James.
James related to me later that he came in the door and looked at where he had been seated previously and thought: "Wow, is there actually someone hot in here?" Noting that there was an empty seat next to me, he made his way towards it after hugging Natalia again.
I remember thinking that he was shorted that I expected, but then again Eric is tall. He was cute. Something made him smile, and I was lost on that for a second, I kid you not. He hugged Natalia and I kind of scooted closer to the edge of the couch making as much room as possible so that they would come sit next to me. Eric sat down first on the other side of the couch, leaving the space between us open for James.
He sat down..... and didn't even look at me. Didn't say hi. Nothing. Eric wasn't even talking to him. I remember smoothing out my dress, and trying to look at him without really looking at him. Natalia announced that the food was ready and that the females should all go first. I stood up and walked into the kitchen, trying to figure out what to say to catch their attention. Before doing so, I pulled out my phone, and discreetly texted Natalia these words.
"Dear Natalia, James is Hot. That is all."
*James related that he likes forward girls, he was also trying to observe me without directly observing me. He sat down next to eric, watching what I would do, and how I interacted with others.
In the kitchen I was talking to Natalia, desperately trying to find a way to say something just loud enough that they would hear me, and maybe have them speak up. I started talking about Pax tickets, and how they were all sold out. Nothing. I was standing in the doorway.
I heard Eric say: "Who's phone is this?" They weren't listening. I emphasized halo and xbox with nothing, and then again how I would try and get tickets for her BECAUSE IT WAS THE BIGGEST GAMING CONVENTION ON THE WEST COAST!" I was loud. I giggle at myself now, but it worked because Eric spoke up. Gaming? Wha? which one?
"Pax" I said, a little smug. Penny Arcade Expo. This will be my 3rd year going. And then James looked up. I could see his blue eyes from across the room. Eric kept talking. "Do you dress up?" And Natalia responded with "Laura dressed up way cool! She went as Cortana last year and then James said, "Um, how... exactly do you do that? She's kind of..." And I responded with the Body suit, and promised I'd show them a picture. And then I happily went to get food.
James: Eric is the best wingman ever. Do you remember when he said "who's phone is this? " He had put his hand down and found an iPhone. And then a text came through on the phone. And it said "Dear Natalia, James is Hot.." and that's all he could see. So he figured out it was natalia's phone, but, now he was trying to figure out who Laura was. And then Natalia answered that question by answering about Cortana. somehow he needed to alert me to this whole thing without giving everything away.
I grabbed my food and went to sit down next to them, pulling out my phone to show off my cortana outfit. Eric kept asking lots of questions. James was silent. They went to get food. And came back, and Eric kept asking questions. "was I the only one who dressed up? How often do I play games? Which games do I play? What am I majoring in? "
And then Eric got preoccupied, and I asked James, What are you into? What are you majoring in? He looked up at me from his food and I was literally caught off guard by his face. Its HARD talking to an attractive person. OMG. I had to look away. He told me he was a Robotics major.
"like.. mechatronics major at UVU?"
he seemed taken aback, impressed that I knew that.
I quickly replied with "I'm an IT major there. emphasis in computer forensics." He mentioned that he was going to SLCC. I mentioned that he and Eric should look into going to Pax if we can get tickets. Eric mentioned he was getting married and James said: "Oh, that's when I'm moving to Slc. Oh wait! that's a different haha. never mind. that's next year." I distinctly remember the thought process of "OH NO! You're leaving? How will I get to know you by then?"
And then it was over.
We finished our food. I took my plate into the kitchen and James mentioned to Natalia he was going to leave, he had to make himself a cake for his birthday. and politely excused himself. Natalia made us all sing happy birthday to him, and he stood by the door waiting for eric.
This was the weird part. Eric stood up, looked at James, then pointed at me and said "What was your name?" And I responded with Laura. Then he stopped for a second. Looked like he was about to leave and then asked everyone else in the room what their names were, then when he got back to me, said, Laura right? and I confirmed it and they left.
I remember thinking... he wanted to know my name for some reason then was trying to cover it up by asking everyone else's name.
They left, and I wondered when I would see them again.
James: When They got out of earshot of the house, Eric asked... What'd you think of Laura? and Then explained everything about the texts. They got home, and All James could think about was me. He wanted to see me again, but didn't know how, and Eric suggested that they invite Natalia over to help make cake, and then casually see if I was still around and invite me over too.
At natalia's, we went upstairs to look at our future apartment, and decided we liked it. She had also looked at her phone and chuckled to herself when she saw my already spread text, saying "I'm okay with this." And we had a small discussion about James. Natalia then got a phone call and I only heard half of it.
"JAMES! you're alive!"
"What? Oh, I can't come, I don't have a car"
I immediately blurted out: "I can take you wherever you're going." Instinctively thinking that if I took her, maybe I'd get to stay.
Natalia: "Oh! Laura can take me. So I can come. Wait. Can laura come? " *Silence* HAhaha. YES PLEASE they said."
And I grinned. She got off the phone and repeated the YES PLEASE. And then remarked, they must have been talking about you.
I drove her there. The entire time my heart hammering and my brain repeating one word over and over and over again. James James James. Its the weirdest sensation I'll ever feel. And I wonder if that's what an immediate crush feels like. I knew nothing, yet was intrigued by him.
I entered their house.
End of part 1. :D
1 thoughts :
Good. Many people miss the indepth aspects of others. You are still that hyperactive girl in the yellow jacket at byu, excited to meet people, yet you are also the older you who has experienced a torrent of struggles and changes.
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