Borderline
Borderlines are the patients psychologists fear most. As many as 75% hurt themselves, and approximately 10% commit suicide — an extraordinarily high suicide rate (by comparison, the suicide rate for mood disorders is about 6%). Borderline patients seem to have no internal governor; they are capable of deep love and profound rage almost simultaneously. They are powerfully connected to the people close to them and terrified by the possibility of losing them — yet attack those people so unexpectedly that they often ensure the very abandonment they fear. When they want to hold, they claw instead. Many therapists have no clue how to treat borderlines
Individuals with BPD can be very sensitive to the way others treat them, reacting strongly to perceived criticism or hurtfulness. Their feelings about others often shift from positive to negative, generally after a disappointment or perceived threat of losing someone. Self-image can also change rapidly from extremely positive to extremely negative. Impulsive behaviors are common, including alcohol or drug abuse, promiscuous and intense sexuality, gambling and recklessness in general.[10] Attachment studies have revealed a strong association between BPD and insecure attachment style, the most characteristic types being "unresolved", "preoccupied", and "fearful".[11] Evidence suggests that individuals with BPD, while being high in intimacy- or novelty-seeking, can be hyper-alert[6] to signs of rejection or not being valued and tend toward insecure, avoidant or ambivalent, or fearfully preoccupied patterns in relationships.[12] They tend to view the world as generally dangerous and malevolent.[6]
Dear Kristen. What's your diagnosis.... you are the person I hold to know me better than anyone else.
:)
Dear Kristen. What's your diagnosis.... you are the person I hold to know me better than anyone else.
:)
4 thoughts :
A few phrases jumped out: being hyper alert to signs of rejection or not being valued, powerfully connected to the people close to them and terrified by the possibility of losing them, when they want to hold, they claw, and generally view the world as malevolent and dangerous.
I don't think you're borderline. You're not into drugs or sex, nor are you so extreme in your moods. Or suicidal (I hope.) While you might be able to see parts of yourself in this explanation, I don't think this is it. I don't think you'll be able to give a name to all the different parts of you because once you do, it'll be like a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Speaking from personal experience, I think maybe you shouldn't be so quick to label yourself as one thing or another. But it's good that you're doing some investigating and recognizing some things that you struggle with. I remember doing some research on BPD once and realizing that I have some traits in common with BPD. It was helpful for me to think about those things, target them, and work on them. Good on you for being honest, self-reflective, and brave enough to make it this far. That's not an easy thing to do.
Doubtful that you're borderline. It may be easy to think you are though. You do hyper-react to a lot of things. The lack of entrance to a psycho ward or psycho pills would be strongest I think for not being borderline. Borderline people from the sounds of it are barely able to function in life. You've accomplished stuff in life. My advice: stop looking for ways to explain why there's something wrong with you and just be a better person. Sounds silly, but it's not.
Oh, and while I have posted a few times lately as Anonymous, stuff referring to research into BPD and having BPD or co-dependency was a different Anonymous.
Post a Comment